Run #1353 Boot Camp or Beer Take Your Pick!


As a lady of leisure Scarlette O’Hairy dragooned her posse of Peteophile, Just Travis, Just Katya and newly added Just Alison into assisting her in sending the Gypsies off on a quest to find flour and then send them into sugar shock. The pack was gathered at Broadway and Lyon, home of the infamous Lyon St. steps. Oh the contrast, there were the Gypsies, emptying bottles of Lagunitas Undercover Shut Down Ale down their throats and the oh so chic, ‘I’m fit and just fabulous” boot camp fashionista fetishists sweating away their dollars on their “give me 10 more” gurus. “Saint” Titty Boo Boo was so overwhelmed that he challenged Tongueless to throw down and do some naked pushups in the street with a naked “S”TBB sitting on his back. Only the intervention of The Cunt Next Door saved the world from another horror and a gang of Millennials from insanity. Our hares are famous for their Thanksgiving Day trails and that they were deigning to set a trail on another day brought out the hordes. Dick Ass Mother Fucker couldn’t resist standing at the top of the steps ostentatiously sucking down a beer while anguished fitness fanatics puffed their way to the top. Udder Moron swears he saw one tight tummied blonde bim pass out when DAMF uttered a soft but satisfied belch. It was more than just unkind of Just Katya and Lois Lame to stand next to a band doing deep knee bends while talking about it being, “Steak and a Blowjob Day”. Pied Piper laughed as he looked at the benders, saying, “I see more than Spring has sprung.” As if the pack wasn’t already creating a stir Just Travis, wearing a glittery green bowtie, preached a very stirring, even Closet Twitcher felt a stirring, sermon from the Male Missal. Cuming Mutha and On All 4s moved among the on looking fitness fans accepting donations and handing out blessings. Religion is such an important part of the Gypsies after all. Our hares provided a chalktalk letting the pack know that a Jell-O shot check was in their future and sent the thundering herd down the steps. Much later Dr. Kimble spoke of the ensuing carnage as the pack crazed in search of marks shouldered aside the tights and cropped-top crowd sending them ass over teakettle down the steps. By the time the pack set off Just Katya was already gone having received more than a dozen invitations to dinner. While the pack thundered down the steps the Lost Patrol, having heard that the down the steps crowd were on an elaborate circle jerk, went uphill on Lyon and found trail on Pacific Ave. Our hares were determined that even the LP should earn their Jell-0 and trail kept climbing. Adopt A Pussy announced that he could only stay for so long because he had to get home so he broke with the LP, more on that later. After a prolonged tour of Pacific Heights and it’s manses where Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt excreted their contempt for the wealthy, trail wound it’s way down hill and into the Presidio and the shiggy portion of the trail. Trail moved through the woods where marks sent the pack uphill and down almost as far as Arguello before turning back. Our hares had little use for the trails preferring to send the pack cross-country.  As the LP approached the public restrooms at Paul Good Field they crossed paths with Bitch Pimp and Just Pat, um, resting. Che Gayvara appeared out of nowhere still fulminating about the trail going through that den of Capitalist *unning dogs. Further along the woods Bitches Bitch flashed by in the opposite direction saying he was going back to either find Lois Lame of die trying, what a guy! At last the Jell-O check appeared and with it all the sugar and fat in the world as our hares provided not only the shots but also myriad cookies and cupcakes. 5150 swears he only consumed 12 Jell-O shots and only 6 with whipped cream. Knowing T’s weakness for sweets Fits In slipped one of the plastic zipties she always carries over his wrists. Tears Of Semen wiped the tears from T’s eyes as she ate another cookie. Eventually the pack tore itself away and staggered back to the start through the Lyon St. Gate. Missed Delivery seeing where the evening was going suggested that the pack reenter the gate and keep prying eyes and ears at distance. MD can be so wise! The Sacred Cooler filled with bottles was opened and the Sacred Thermi filled with hot toddys were proffered to ward off the chill. Cream Chugger managed to find her way to the pack and Just Lilly was welcomed by Tongue Depressor and Qaeda. Hand Pump  was beaten out for DFL by Manhole and Mans Best Hole who both found what they wanted, one being beer and other, treats. Blow Queen discussed the ins and outs of the trail while managing to consume enough alcohol to make himself appear a fount of wisdom to Adopt A Pussy who, oddly enough, managed to find a reason not have had to go home. The pack was blocking the gate and the path and managed to hold up a cyclist who was new to the city and had gone to college in Vermont. He found Peteophile, who had spent time in Vermont, a pleasant conversationalist and took a liking to the piss and hot toddys. He also took a liking to the ladies in the pack with Just Alison explaining what holiday the day was. When T had gone to retrieve the Sword, Stinky Floss was changing into drier clothes outside the gate and the few remaining fitness fans were hooting and hollering and tossing her greenbacks. Our guest managed to stay through down-downs as T took up the Sword Of Power and convened the Circle. 5 Angry Inches was called forth for a double d-d because he is trying to keep his liver intact, what a heinous crime. 5AI required two stunt drinkers so Stinky Floss, flush with cash, and T stood in for him. Lois Lame, in her cups, was once again desperate to get Just Will named and this time she had a pack in it’s cups to actually listen to her entreaties. Alcohol will tell and it really told as the pack listened to the Lois and ‘honored” Just Will by linking him with T. Even T felt bad as Just Will knelt to be tapped by the Sword and arise as Tongueless’ Penis, member of the Order of the Sleepless Knights. Yes, it was that kind of night. Cheers.