Run #1278 *un
Around by a Boner!
Last Thursday Chickenboner decided to use her prowess and bake up a trail as well as cupcakes for the Gypsies and both endeavors were a success. Our hare gathered her chickens at the flat space below Tank Hill on Twin Peaks Blvd. near Villa Terrace. As the pack gathered and pounded piss from the keg of Lagunitas Czech Pils civilians kept stopping by to take pictures of the sunset. If Tongueless had any feelings and we know he doesn’t a tear might have cum to his eye over all that beauty. Closet Twitcher was waxing so poetic that he was called upon to provide the evening’s sermon and sermonize like a demon he did. With eyes closed and head tipped back Hand Pump was busy giving his name a whole new meaning. Apparently HP was shocked by the thunderous applause that came just as he did. Vainly trying to hold in her laughter our hare gave a chalktalk and promised a short flat trail she also offered a good price on the Golden Gate Bridge and the Statue of Liberty. On that note the pack was off to see just how “flat” the trail would be. The Lost Patrol consisted of One Night Only, Fits In, Tongueless and the hellhounds Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt. Trail started promisingly enough by going downhill along Twin Peaks Blvd. A quick left and the pack was out on 17th St. The Greenbelt Trail arrived at Stanyan and the pack took it over the Mt. Sutro Open Space Preserve where Lois Lame swears she could hear The Cunt Next Door belting out her favorite song, Don’t Fence Me In. Just Natalie didn’t believe LL but when “Saint” Titty Boo Boo pointed out that she was practically a professional “snitch” who would rat out just about anyone JN changed her tune. Chickenboner haring against her character as a sweet young baker wasn’t satisfied with the depth of pain she’d already produced so off the pack went to it’s ascent of Twin Peaks. Udder Moron was heard to mumble that he was indeed an “utter moron” for not just bagging trail when it crossed Clarendon. Hand Pump ever the gentleman told UM that he wasn’t an “utter moron” just a glutton for punishment and that made UM feel ever so much better. Well, the pack might have let itself be suckered but the Lost Patrol solved the problem by just staying on Stanyan and climbing Belgrave and Shrader Sts. to Carmel, which lo and behold brought them back to Twin Peaks and home. Along the way they picked up Buck Fucka who had One Night Only weeping with jealousy over his model quality hair. ONO was so depressed by the sheen of those locks that she could barely make it to her car. Fit In was concerned that she might not be able to see through her tears. Since the pack was wallowing in it’s misery the LP took the time to set up the keg and Vitamin J on a flat space overlooking a steep drop. There’s nothing like giving a bunch of booze hounds a chance to imitate lemmings. Dr. Kimble was so overcum by the length and steepness of trail that he stopped by a van and had wild sex with it, um, at least it was wild on his part the van never moved. The pack was eventually reunited and Chickenboner assuaged their anger by handing out the tiramisu cupcakes she’d baked. Technically this would have been the King’s Bday trail except for him being in Phoenix for the IAH but she baked her heart out anyway and the only loser was the King. Tasting the first of several cupcakes and with his face covered with frosting Tongueless pronounced that Chickenboner “could do no wrong”. The Cunt Next Door was heard to mutter that gave CB a lot of leeway but with the pack happily stuffing their faces with Vitamin J and cupcakes no one really heard her. The Sacred Bucket was filled with Exsanguinator and as usual that was when the pack switched the Bucket from the keg. T’s eyes fairly glowed and he realized that the keg was going to stay full enough to find a home in his kegerator. Stuffing his gaping maw with yet another cupcake T declared himself too stuffed to bother with the Circle. Tears Of Semen swears she heard Fits In grumble that T was not only stuffed but when they got home he’d want to be mounted. The old saying is that “Gypsy war parties cum in all sizes”, this was a small but mighty boozy one. Cheers.