Run #1327 Your Daddy Wouldn’t Do That!


Who’s Your Daddy knows a good thing when he sees it so of course he started last week’s Gypsies’ trail in Golden Gate Park from 25th Ave. and MLK, Jr. Dr. Obie On-Wan from SaipanH3 already had a thirst so powerful that he was at the start while the Outbeer was still bringing its coals to New Castle. Those coals were actually bottles of Lagunitas Sucks in the Sacred Cooler. The pack arrived as it usually does in dribs and drabs and instantly fastened on to the Sacred Cooler. Dr. Kimble announced that he’d died and gone to heaven when his searching hand found the one bottle of Lagunitas Citrussenensis that was cleverly hidden. When the only bottle of Lagunitas Dogtown Pale Ale also got snagged WYD hung his head and headed out to lay his trail live. Chickenboner waved the bottle of Dogtown at him in a goodbye gesture that Dick Ass Mother Fucker found particularly entertaining. Bitches Bitch was thrilled by our visitor from Saipan since BB is going to be working there, and soon. Obi On-Wan did find it odd that BB was so fixated on the Poison Oak/Poison Ivy situation in the Saipanese jungle. Lois Lame told OOW not to pay attention, as that was just one of BB’s many fixations, and they are all odd. Obi On-Wan assumed the position of spiritual leader of the pack as he choked out a sermon from the Male Missal. Closet Twitcher pointed out that should trail go through Sperm Alley OOW might be choking on something more substantial than words. “Saint” Titty Boo Boo told our reader that should that occur the cost of the hash might be recovered many times over. The Cunt Next Door assured our visitor that “S” TBB speaks with the voice of experience although carrying all those pennies might slow him down. The pack having been assured that all marks were standard was off in search of the trail. Said trail took them deep into the woods as they moved towards the, oddly enough, Sperm Alley end of the park. Just Deanna had wisely cast her lot in with the Lost Patrol and the snouts of those consummate Gypsies, Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt whose snouts stayed pressed to the ground in the hunt for trail. Trail took the pack back and forth across the park with hardly any time spent pounding pavement. Escrowtum was working in town and rather than head back to Sacto after work decided that an evening of Gypsy debauchery was more to her liking and as usual the Gypsies made an effort to not disappoint. One thing about WYD is his obsession with water, if there is a lake or pond or puddle he can take the pack around he will; tonight was no exception. The pack was also treated to a romp through the Frisbee Golf Course with assorted flying objects soaring over ducked heads. Trail was well marked until abruptly it wasn’t marked at all. Back at the start “Saint” Titty Boo Boo and the The Cunt Next Door did their best to gin up a lynch mob for the hare by insisting that once his “poor, old tired legs meet with his terror of being caught he abandons trail and the pack to its fate.”  Missed Delivery scoffed at that nodding his sweaty brow he suggested that “S” TBB was just annoyed with how little cash he’d acquired while passing through Sperm Alley.  The pack moved to the picnic table at the start and the bacchanal was soon under way. Fits In had the Sacred Thermi filled with hot toddys and any chill in the air was soon dissipated. Manhole arrived with Mans Best Hole and added insult to injury by dropping the bag of swag Mans Best Hole had acquired along the trail. A chagrined “S” TBB vowed to scratch his phone number out of every Port-a-Potty in the park, ingrates. Phone Sex graced the pack with her presence having studiously avoided going anywhere near the actual trail. Hand Pump was thrilled to have recaptured his position as DFL. Tongueless took up the Sword Of Power and convened the Circle where, strangely, both evil and good were punished, oh well that’s just Tongueless he can’t tell the difference between the two. Just Deanna was called forth and the Stupidity Watch was convened to see if she’d earned a name. As usual the victim was hoist by her own petard as Just Deanna pointed out “I came again.” Just Deanna knelt before the Sword and arose newest member of the Order of the Sleepless Knights, She Came Again! An excellent evening wound to a close as the alcohol did what it had to. Cheers.