Run #1300 Still Crazy After All Those Beers!


For years Tongueless has blamed brain injury for any and all of his errors in anything while Fits In has valiantly stood by him albeit rolling her eyes in silent judgment. Last week the Gypsies got real proof of just how crazy T is and how put upon FI is. “Saint” Titty Boo Boo in a rare act of humanity offered to turn his “Sainthood” over to her. All this was caused by the Gypsies’ 1300th trail that was hared by T and fooded and watered by FI at their now even humbler abode in Novato. First let the rumor of the neighbors with pitchforks and barrels of tar and feathers be dispelled. There were no barrels of tar and feathers. The pack gathered along the cul de sac on Almond Ct. CSI was quick to point out that the name Almond Ct. was somehow fitting as almonds are nuts, wink wink, need she say more. The Eastbay provided Butt Plug Fred just in case “Saint” Titty Boo Boo had any, um, “special needs”. The pack had a choice of Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout or Lagunitas Gnarly Wine leading RU Gay to wonder if the Gypsies’ take from CHP tickets had been increased of if they were just hoping to do a volume business. Dr. Kimble was happy that Pharma Ho was present in case any antidotes to alcohol poisoning needed to be administered or in the case of Bitches Bitch any antidote to either Poison Oak or Poison Oak Hysteria. Religion was provided by Hot Dick who preached a new sermon from the Male Missal that left the pack feeling warm and fuzzy and Slicker ‘N Snot warm, fuzzy and damp. A chalk talk was provided and the pack sent into the night to find the marks of T. Ice Box with her usual warmth wondered how hard or long could a trail laid by a gibbering idiot actually be? The Lost Patrol this week consisted of 5150 and CSI with no dogs to sniff flour for them, not that there was much to sniff. Still, 5150 managed to scrape his nose on trail and CSI insists on remaining mum as to how he managed that. Trail led the pack out of the cul de sac and across South Novato Blvd. up Redwood. A check at Susan Way was easily solved taking the pack up a narrow steep bit of shiggy to a flat spot where a backcheck was waiting to send them back down the hill. True trail took the pack up, in every sense of the word, Redwood to another check at Palmer. Eventually the pack found trail, thanks to Blow Queen’s stentorian bellow, through the shiggy up to the ridgeline and around the water tower to hit concrete at Kari Ct. A long convoluted time later the pack exited to Ignacio Blvd. and a left turn on to Entrada brought the pack to the parking lot for the Marin Inn and eventually back to Redwood where the on-in trail, freshly marked…more or less brought them back to the kegs, Sacred Bucket filled with River Madness, Vitamin J and eventually FI’s Chicken Tikka Masala and for the vegs Thai Coconut Curry. Giving the devil his due “Saint” Titty Boo Boo was the FRB and Pharma Ho filled that role as the first bim to cross the threshold. The alcohol flowed freely and the pack showed its affects. As the pack pounded pints T took up the Sword Of Power, King Rongjon being in Abu Dhabi, and convened the Circle. Goes Down Easy handled the role of Down-Down Bitch as if she’d never been away and poured the cups of River Madness for d-ds.  Pharma Ho took all the punishment she could since the down-downs were gluten free. Just Carrie who has decided to be the female version of Slicker ‘N Snot by avoiding a name for the her last 13 trails was more than happy to continue her streak.  Chugging River Madness The Cunt Next Door pointed out just how easily the fence around the yard could be trampled and wondered if T and FI were on Nextdoor.Com. Bitches Bitch avoided the potential for PO by avoiding the trail, easy peasy! Lois Lame actually managed to not leave any of her gear behind but her role was ably filled by 5150 and his shoes. Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt had a fabulous evening sniffing the crotches of anyone who came near them and vacuuming up any dropped chips. Hand Pump assured himself of being DFL by losing trail or more likely he just stopped into Rickey’s for a quick one. Dr. Kimble almost needed the defibrillator when he saw Shithead who has been away from hashing for so long that Tears Of Semen thought he was just a myth. After talking to him she wished he were just a myth. Growlers were filled, dodging of the CHP begun, and the next 25 years of the Gypsies was looked forward to. Cheers.