Run #1572 No One Lodged a Protest!


Cuming Mutha called for the Gypsies to meet at McLaren Lodge in Golden Gate Park off of Stanyan and his call was answered by the usual bunch seeking both some exercise and more importantly the cheapest drunk in town. The Outbeer carrying the precious cargo, a keg of Adobe Creek Tamalpais Mexican Lager and the Sacred Thermi filled with hot cider and rum slid right into a parking slot. The pack was gathering when Cuming Mutha and the Mother Carrie of the Lost Patrol, On All 4s arrived. CM was going to set the trial more or less live. Just having OA4s to lead the halt, lame and already wasted gives that bunch a warm, safe feeling. That she can also track CM on his iPhone is a plus and may explain why he often “forgets” it. Manhole was driving the clown car and Backside Banger only needed a pair of floppy shoes and a red nose to complete the picture. No worries on the nose, the keg and Sacred Thermi would paint it plenty red. Closet Twitcher pulled in on his bicycle as did Wash This Asshole and Coculus Oculus! Dr. Kimble immediately started circulating among the pack taking bets and offering odds on which of the trio would actually survive a ride home. Backwash swears the lights were glinting off the dollar signs in Dr. K’s eyes. Dr. K thought of the bikers as his very own trifecta. Twinkle Dick strolled into the lot under the false assumption that after the keg and Thermi he’d be able to stroll back out, dreamer! Tri Crapalete and Just Jeorgina were back from their world tour and thanks to the MarinH3 Just Jeorgina is now Wet And Sloppy, a well-known fact already! In honor of their return, Tri Crapalete took up the Male Missal and preached to the pack. A weeping Hose Blower croaked that he’d never felt his soul so stirred, not to mention his genitalia! CM was long gone on trail and the rest of the pack was off in search of his works. Trail took the pack, speed demons and the LP out of the parking lot and into the park where it whipped past the Hippie Hill and through the National Aids Memorial Grove. The Shakespeare Garden felt the stomping of the pack.  The California Academy of Sciences was skirted. The pack found Jack The Ripper by the Japanese Tea Garden wondering why he couldn’t get a cuppa! As the trail crossed JFK Promenade our hare appeared to join OA4s and the rest. Don’t think CM provided any info, he is a hard-hearted hare! Trail took the pack through the Rose Garden and past the Conservatory of Flowers, the Dahlia Garden and the Fuchsia Dell.  Pied Piper declared that with all the flowers this was a whoreticultural trail, he would! Back at the start the keg was tapped and the covered by the Cloak Of Invisibility. The COI was in turn covered with Vitamin J and the Sacred Thermi filled with hot cider and rum. The pack arrived back to find 5150 with a horde of growlers strapped to his back, waste not want are his words to live by. Chickenboner and Hand Pump were still off doing trail but with plenty to drink and eat no search parties were being organized. Cheese Turd arrived and offered to make sure he drank their share so, even if Chickenboner and Hand Pump never came back none of the AC Tamalpais or Thermi would go to waste. CT is a total humanitarian. PP did have some of his homemade jerky to share and Tongueless did everything but climb into the baggie. To stop T’s gluttony Fits In poured down-downs. With the Sword Of Power waving way too close to the pack, T convened the Circle. By now Chickenboner and HP had returned to the fold. Dr. Kimble left before any of the bikers sailed off, his dream of wealth shattered! The remaining pack were betting on whether he’d make it back to Corte Madera. In the Gypsies care and concern take a backseat to cashing in on gambling against your friends. Eventually the keg was brought to farting stage and the Thermi drained, yes, 5150 took a growler from the Thermi. A fine trail and a fine keg made for a fine evening with the Gypsies. Cheers.