Run #1387 5150 and the Return of the Prodigals
Last Thursday was notable for two things 5150 actually set a trail which meant he was there on time and even better Open Wide and Likes To Lick were visiting from Austin and brought their Gymnasts 3, Just Vera Kate, Just Anna Katherine and Just Lola. 5150 distraught over being anywhere, let alone, a Gypsies trail on time prevailed on the prodigals to fill his role and be late, taking pity on 5150 they were. The rest of the pack was on time, time being a very subjective concept with the Gypsies, to the start at the Murphy, south, Windmill and Cottage on MLK, Jr. Dr. in Golden Gate Park. The hare was nowhere to be seen but he did telephone to say he was still out on trail so the pack settled in to drink some of the keg of Lagunitas Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’. For a visual the pack was treated to seeing Backside Banger leap from a Lyft instead of his usual playing of bumper cars with his truck. Dr. Kimble shook his head in dismay and allowed that now there was nothing left to believe in. The Cunt Next Door and “Saint” Titty Boo Boo both exercised the privilege of pouring pints while watching the pack make goo-goo eyes over baby Just Rosie. TCND didn’t mind those looks but drew the line at Pied Piper liking his chops! She Came Again had the whole pack licking their chops with her reading from the Unnamed Missal, which Adopt A Pussy in his precise lawyerly manner claims is actually now named “Unnamed Missal”. The hare eventually made an appearance and declared the trail amazing, this of course set Bitch Pimp to thanking the Hash Gods that Just Pat wasn’t there. BP understands 5150’s euphemisms! Our hare provided a chalktalk that was rife with diagrams and promises of the sheer joy the pack would experience. On that note the pack was off. The Lost Patrol consisted of Tongueless and Fits In along with the chomping at the bit hounds Tongue Depressor and Qaeda Cunt. The size of the LP grew as OW, LTL and the Gymnasts leaped from their rental wheels and increased again as Phone Sex arrived to gush over the prodigals. The pack found this to be “a wanderlust” trail as the pack wandered about lusting after marks. It’s important to point out that marks did in fact exist and they generally led to a false trail mark or to a backcheck mark. Pencil Dick was pleased he hadn’t brought Just Arlo or JA would have spent his time chasing his tail the way the rest of the pack chased theirs. Trail took the pack into the bowel of the park and then kept excreting them. T took to blowing through false trails and backchecks and finding the bits and bobs of true trail that inexorably led him to the next false trail or backcheck. No marks were needed to follow the plaintive whines of the Gymnasts 3 who had already been dragged around the city. Even with her tracking app On All 4s was getting dizzy watching Cuming Mutha go in circles. Eventually the LP gave up the ghost and headed back to the start. In dribs and drabs the rest of the pack appeared from all the directions of the compass rose and a spot was chosen to set up the table and wash down the Vitamin J with Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ and Yellow Peril from the Sacred Bucket. The pack was getting down to some serious drinking and eating when the lights of the Park Ranger on patrol picked them out. Tongueless’ Penis tried desperately to turn himself into just a little dick but failed miserably. T set off down the road to do his thing while the pack paid no attention. T was gone so long that FI wondered aloud what was going on but Blow Queen assured her that T and the officer were probably just chatting then poured himself another pint. Deadbeat on the other hand asked if FI had bail money available. As it turned out BQ was spot on. The officer and T had a very pleasant chat and by the time the officer left he and T were on a first name basis. Out came the Sword Of Power and the Circle was convened. Miscreants were suitably punished with the majority of down-downs going to the hare. The innocent were also punished so Manhole came up a fair number of times to drink his guilt or innocence away. 5150 was put on KP duty and left looking like Santa with a bag of garbage over his shoulder. Cheers.